What an awesome poem. It says exactly how I feel.

A Mother's Grief


You ask me how I'm feeling,
but do you really want to know?

The moment I try telling you
You say you have to go

How can I tell you,
what it's been like for me

I am haunted, I am broken
By things that you don't see

You ask me how I'm holding up,
but do you really care?

The second I try to speak my heart,
You start squirming in your chair.

Because I am so lonely,
you see, no one comes around,

I'll take the words I want to say
And quietly choke them down.

Everyone avoids me now,
Because they don't know what to say

They tell me I'll be there for you,
then turn and walk away.

Call me if you need me,
that's what everybody said,

But how can I call you and scream into the phone,
My God, my child is dead?

No one will let me
say the words I need to say

Why does a mothers grief
scare everyone away?

I am tired of pretending
as my heart pounds in my chest,

I say things to make you comfortable,
but my soul finds no rest.

How can I tell you things
that are too sad to be told,

of the helplessness of holding a child
who in your arms grows cold?

Maybe you can tell me,
How should one behave,

who's had to follow their child's casket,
watched it perched above a grave?

You cannot imagine
what it was like for me that day

to place a final kiss upon that box,
and have to turn and walk away.

If you really love me,
and I believe you do,

if you really want to help me,
here is what I need from you.

Sit down beside me,
reach out and take my hand,

Say "My friend, I've come to listen,
I want to understand."

Just hold my hand and listen
that's all you need to do,

And if by chance I shed a tear,
it's alright if you do too.

By: Kelly Cummings

FINALLY

Well, things have been difficult lately. My uncle Steve passed away last week. He died of cancer, and I was there for the last 4 days, it was very tough to watch. Very different from Genevive's death experience. In a way I think the death of a baby is better, even though that sounds funny. When she passed away we were able to do her bath, take photos, do hand prints and casts. Lots of little things like that. With my uncle all we could do was watch and when he was gone hold his hand and rub his head. I am not sure why, I felt there should be more that can be done, but there wasn't. I am just rambling, I am so upset. I love my uncle, and I am so sad to see how much my dad is suffering.

On a different note we finally got the email about the headstone. It is done and ready to be shipped. Isn't it breathtaking!!