Sometimes there are no words

So here is a lovely photo from say it with flowers.

The news story

Our news story showed today. I think it was great. Although the part where I talked about now I lay me down to sleep was cut out, but I understand they had to fit into a certain time. Anyone want to see it?



Tell me if I sounded like a lunatic. And don't mind my Rhode Island accent, I can't help it.

If you are dropping by from the news story, Please leave a comment. Blog comments make us feel good, I love getting them.

A day of phone calls!

PHONE CALL NUMBER ONE: So today Walt Buteau called me to say that all put together the story is fantastic. He said all the elements we were able to provide like the video and photos, and Eddy's singing just went together with their techniques to make a touching piece. I have to say I am so impressed with how nice he and John (the cameraman) were, it was enjoyable working with them. And I am glad he called today to follow up, it wasn't necessary on his part and I really feel like they care.

PHONE CALL NUMBER TWO: SO I thought about it and decided to call our NICU social worker and tell her about the news story. Just in case any of the NICU people involved with genevive and Lillian are interested in seeing it. She is going to let people know. I am always a bit worried in these cases that I am deluded and people aren't nearly as interested in my baby as I am. But hey, I felt like they really cared for her when she passed away. If I am wrong, hopefully no one will tell me, I would much rather think she is remembered and loved.

Now, just in case anybody from the hospital do watch the news and come visit my blog I want to take the oppurtunity to post a big thank you. I had one Preemie pass away and one Preemie come home with no long term issues. I can honestly say I have seen the best and the worst of the NICU. Women and Infants is amazing. The support I recieved when genevive passed away was moving, They let us take our time with her, and helped us when we felt lost. Going back to the NICU the next day was terribly hard, but when I got there I got so many hugs from people I didn't even know. They helped me so much more than they realized, for a while the hospital was the only place I felt good after she passed, just because I felt like she wasn't forgotten while there. Anywhere else it felt like the world moved on and no one remembered. I appreciate everything the hospital personnel did for me, and I will never forget any of you.

In closing let me find a memory for the front page. Here was an awesome day. We had a lot of fun playing, and in fact this was the day I took my favorite photo of genevive (all the way at the bottom of this page). I was trying to leave, but she was so alert, and looking around, how could I walk away?

The interview went good I think

I was a bit nervous. But it was great to show off Genevive's photos and talk about her so much. Also they said maybe they will do something on Now I lay me down to sleep in the future! I think it would be awesome to get the word out. I told him how valuable the photographs they take are, I treasure them. We also went to the cemetery as well, and they took some video of her grave. And while we were there I was able to speak to the cemetery guy about the deeds to our plots. It was a good day. I hope i don't come across as some morbid crazy woman, LOL. But it is what it is, I hope people will take something away from this.

I will end with one of the amazing photos Jennifer Lamy our NILMDTS photographer took. We owe her so much. She spent the whole day with us, and she rushed the photos to get them to me quicker. I know she is a busy photographer and she took her time out to make our grief just a tiny bit easier to handle.

Tomorrow is the big day!

Tomorrow is my interview with channel 12. I am a bit nervous. Hope it goes well.

And look at my new necklace!I adore it, I am gonna make a photo charm of genevive to add to it. See that is her birthstone, and it says "free to fly" Genevive 1-14-09

8 months today

With Lillian I get to count, Oh she is 8 months old, we can do photos. With genevive I get to count 8 months since I have gotten to see her, hold her, sing to her. It is very unfair. I know life isn't fair, but that doesn't mean I can't bitch about it. I miss my baby today.

Opportunities seem to have a way of presenting themselves.

Did you know that infants can die? Of course you do or you wouldn't be here. The thing is, when your baby dies, it seems like no one realizes it happens. People avoid the subject like the plague, Naturally it makes them uncomfortable. But all the avoidance in the world doesn't change the fact that it happens. A lot of us who have lost our children want to talk about them. We want them to be remembered. We want people to realize it happens and know a bit about it in case it happens to them.

This morning I got a phone call from the channel 12 news. They saw THIS blog, and want to do a story on us. At first I was a bit iffy, such short notice, what will I wear, But my house is so tiny and a big mess! But I thought about it, what a way to get the word out. I can talk about my Genevive, I can remember her. Maybe someone will see it and be in a similar situation and remember my words. They will know to contact http://www.nowilaymedowntosleep.org/ and get gorgeous photos of their precious Angel. Or they will give their baby a last bath. Have I talked about the bath? Giving Genevive her bath was the single most healing thing I did. If I had one word of advice to pass along it would be to give your baby a bath when they pass. It gives you a chance to bond, and to study every little feature, and to feel like a parent that one last time. But I am rambling now.

Now I also have to admit, I was also a little excited when he said he noticed we didn't get as many donations for the headstone as we would have hoped, and these stories often lead to more donations. Perhaps I can get the original stone we wanted. I don't know why it matters so much, but we all want the best for our children, that doesn't go away after they are gone.

So hopefully this works out. If it does I may have some new visitors to my blog. So here is a video of Genevive for the front page. My first time holding her, she was three days old. Boy it was so hard to wait, but I couldn't hold her while she was on the ventilator. Please excuse my appearance, I just gave birth to twins!


And did you know I have all of my favorite photos of Genevive in an album on my photobucket?
http://s3.photobucket.com/albums/y75/delekatala/Genevive/