Thursday, October 7, 2010

Diggin my way out of this hole.

Man, back in a slump! I feel like I am always going up and down, up and down. Now that the headstone is done I am feeling a bit empty. For so long I was working hard on the pamphlet, working hard on getting the headstone. And now all of a sudden it is all accomplished and I have nothing to DO for Genevive. I have to do something, I can't just do nothing, I have tried and I am miserable.

I spoke with our NICU social worker about this just that the other day. She has been a wonderful support during our grief journey. She suggested maybe I could make a little thing to give to parents about making memories. So they have some ideas to go by. That was my original idea when I started my pamphlet, so I do think its a wonderful idea. I have started putting a lot of thought into the best way to approach it.

I also have had a lot of fun sewing lately. I made cloth diapers for Lillian. And I started making some little Preemie size clothes to donate to the NICU this December. This project also has made me feel a bit better.

Oh and I never posted my new tattoo here. It makes me so happy. When I feel like I need to I can look down and see Genevive's actual foot, actual life size. I wish I had done it sooner. It is on the inside of my arm a little below my elbow. My husband has one to match on his upper arm, but no heart, just the foot in the wings so it is more manly, LOL.


Brittanie said...

It's hard when you need to mother your child, but you can't do all the normal feeding/changing/dressing/bathing stuff that you would do for a living child. It's hard for those who haven't gone through it to understand that it's a need for a mother to take care of her child. ((hugs))

Catherine W said...

Beautiful tattoo.

The pamphlet that you wrote was absolutely amazing and I know you will do a wonderful job of anything else you decide to do to help parents.

And I can't tell you how grateful I was for the clothes that were donated to the unit where my girl were born. Just to dress her, even the once, meant so much to me. xo