Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Happy Birthday Genevive

Yeah, I sprawled "Happy Birthday Genevive" on my bathtub wall with Lily's bath crayons. Seemed better than lighting a candle, I am sick of lighting candles.

Tomorrow is Lily and Genevive's second birthday. Can't believe it has been two years already. What a journey.

I am back in my misery and guilt. I can't feel happy, and I feel bad because I think I should be for Lillian. Instead I am such a mix of emotions I feel like a lunatic. Yesterday I told a newly grieving mother, "It gets better, I promise". And it does, it's better this year than it was last year...... but it still isn't easy.

Tomorrow should be a day of twos! Two little girls, turning two! Two little fancy dresses and two little cakes with two little candles each. But half of those twos are missing, and it is just very unfair.

I need to get my act together, Poor Lily can't have a lunatic for a mother on each birthday.


DeniFay said...

I'm just sorry you are having to deal with this, it's unfair!

Catherine W said...

Happy birthday to your two beautiful little girls.

It's so hard isn't it. I feel the same way, that I want to be completely happy on the twins birthday for J's sake. It's her day. But I can't change the fact that it is also her sister's birthday and that I miss her terribly. It is enough to make you feel like a lunatic.

Wish that you had your two little girls turning two both with you xo