Opportunities seem to have a way of presenting themselves.

Did you know that infants can die? Of course you do or you wouldn't be here. The thing is, when your baby dies, it seems like no one realizes it happens. People avoid the subject like the plague, Naturally it makes them uncomfortable. But all the avoidance in the world doesn't change the fact that it happens. A lot of us who have lost our children want to talk about them. We want them to be remembered. We want people to realize it happens and know a bit about it in case it happens to them.

This morning I got a phone call from the channel 12 news. They saw THIS blog, and want to do a story on us. At first I was a bit iffy, such short notice, what will I wear, But my house is so tiny and a big mess! But I thought about it, what a way to get the word out. I can talk about my Genevive, I can remember her. Maybe someone will see it and be in a similar situation and remember my words. They will know to contact http://www.nowilaymedowntosleep.org/ and get gorgeous photos of their precious Angel. Or they will give their baby a last bath. Have I talked about the bath? Giving Genevive her bath was the single most healing thing I did. If I had one word of advice to pass along it would be to give your baby a bath when they pass. It gives you a chance to bond, and to study every little feature, and to feel like a parent that one last time. But I am rambling now.

Now I also have to admit, I was also a little excited when he said he noticed we didn't get as many donations for the headstone as we would have hoped, and these stories often lead to more donations. Perhaps I can get the original stone we wanted. I don't know why it matters so much, but we all want the best for our children, that doesn't go away after they are gone.

So hopefully this works out. If it does I may have some new visitors to my blog. So here is a video of Genevive for the front page. My first time holding her, she was three days old. Boy it was so hard to wait, but I couldn't hold her while she was on the ventilator. Please excuse my appearance, I just gave birth to twins!


And did you know I have all of my favorite photos of Genevive in an album on my photobucket?
http://s3.photobucket.com/albums/y75/delekatala/Genevive/

I apologize for my absence.

Seems like life is running away with me. I have been busy with court stuff. And of course with Lillian who is getting so big! And Alexander starts school next week. But it all caught up with me and I am stuck in bad sipping on some mint tea with a nasty sore throat. Giving me the perfect time to update my blog!

First and foremost I want to thank everyone for their help with the headstone. We were unable to raise the amount we wanted, but have enough to get a less expensive stone. I worked for hours photoshopping a picture to go on it. Here is the preview from the monument company we think we will go with, it still isn't ordered, we haven't signed a contract, we are just in planning stages. I am dragging my feet because I really wanted a better stone.

And here is the image I made for my Genevive.


I would also like to take a moment to remember all the new Angels I have heard about this week. It breaks my heart, I wish there were more I could do. Lets hope after this week we won't hear about any new angels for a very long time.

Ethan Skidmore passed away on August 21 after a long battle with HLHS. I have been following his carepage for some time, and am so sad he didn't make it. He was 6 months old.

Laurie from a stillbirth forum I frequent has just found out her baby Declan passed in utero. She was headed to be induced on Aug 23. This is not her first stillbirth, It really is not very fair. My heart goes out to her.

Also Mia a facebook friend is having a C-section today to deliver her daughter Nevaeh. Nevaeh has Anencephaly and is expected to live only a short time. As we speak I hope she is getting a long bonding time with her sweet Angel.

6 months...

Apologies I didn't post sooner. Genevive's 6 month anniversary hit us hard. I didn't sleep for a week before, and then could do nothing but sleep for a few days after. For her 6 months we made a temporary headstone, since we didn't make enough for a real one yet, but didn't want her grave empty. We weeded and evened out the dirt. Put down chipped marble. Decorated the marble with the gemstones we had on the grave before. And added a special butterfly and frog we bought for her. I hope to have a real headstone for her one year anniversary. I know of other Angel parents who made temporary ones like this and they crack during the winter. They just aren't made to handle the elements. But it looks pretty for now.

I don't know how I would have gotten by without Eddy. he is so supportive of my grief. We were having a really rocky period in our marriage for a while. I believe the twins and Genevive's death has brought us closer together.
Happy 6 months Genevive. We miss you and think of you always.

Grieving is so hard!

http://brycemoline.blogspot.com/

I follow this blog. This little guy has stolen my heart. He is not doing so well now though. And I feel myself panicking. I feel myself doing what ifs. I want to tell his parents all the important things not to miss just in case. Of course if I sent any message to them suggesting he could die that would be horrific. Why can't we save them all. I wish every pregnant woman was told about NILMDTS and to take a billion photos and stuff, just in case. Then there would be no woman who has lost her baby and said, I wish I had spent more time with them, I wish I had better photos. I wish I had more memories.

I wish I could help people more. I know how these parents feel, I watched Genevive struggle to oxygenate herself. It ultimately led to brain death and organ failure. I understand that terrible feeling in your gut. I wish I could take it away for them. I don't know why I follow these things, I think I am just to sensitive. Please pray for Bryce, the world doesn't need another angel.

EDIT: Bryce did pull through and is still fighting! I have a good feeling, I hope he goes home with his mommy and daddy soon, the NICU is such a tough ride.