Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Feeling a bit better today

Last night I was blessed to have a long conversation about Genevive with my sister Pauline. I believe it started because I mentioned that I don't know how I will be on Christmas, I expect to have a hard time. And somehow it ballooned into an hours long conversation. We shared memories and regrets, we spoke about the day she died and various feelings and things we remember. Things I missed and what other people were doing while I was preoccupied. How it affected Pauline herself (she had a preemie in the NICU at the time as well).

See the photo up top there, That diaper cover was made by Pauline for Genevive. She made it while she was still stuck up in the high risk wing of the hospital waiting for Bella to be born. We were both in the high risk wing together, and gave birth a week apart, both at 29 weeks gestation. Crazy coincidence huh. She made an orange one for Lillian, and I said I need a purple one for Genevive with a heart on her butt! And she made it! I love that heart butt photo. I wasn't able to put real clothes in them yet, but they let them both wear their fleece diaper covers.

During the conversation I got out my photo album and started to organize the photos a bit better, a project I had been wanting to do for a while. I feel so good. It was so nice to hear someone talk about her, and say her name. And to get to just get out some of my feelings too. And look at her photos, and all the cute things she used to do.

Today I also got the ornament from the Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep ornament exchange. It is a gorgeous palm sized silver heart locket. With a ribbon and a silver heart halfway up the ribbon that has 2009 engraved on it. The locket heart has a tree of life and says "We never lose the one we love - they live on in our hearts" , when you open it on the left is engraved "Genevive 1-14-09 Always loved and remembered" and the right has a frame for a photo. and there is a dangling crystal on the bottom. I will take a photo of it in the morning when our house has light. It just melts my heart.

1 comment:

Catherine W said...

I'm glad that you had that conversation with your sister. That must have been such a difficult and terrifying time for you both, with your three girls in the NICU.

Genevive's diaper cover sounds so cute. I wish I had thought of them for the girls.

Would love to see a photograph of the ornament. It sounds so beautiful. xo